Monday, January 28, 2008

“The Question”

Disclaimer: The author of this article places womankind on the highest pedestal of respect!!

Ahem .. A typical conversation between two samples of the fairer sex.

Here it goes..

Sample 1: “ Hey have u been following the US elections?”

Sample 2:”Oh ya, Hillary seems to have put on weight na??”

Sample 1:”But Bill still looks as handsome as ever…..

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Im not judging women by any means but I just cannot fathom their infatuation with this question –“Am I looking fat ??”.

(Simultaneously in one of the dark quarters of my brain , two grey cells converse

Grey cell1 : “dude ,why don u store her statistics so that we can help our host answer this?!! .”

Grey cell2:”No way, that’s impossible.”

Grey cell1 asks “y?” looking confused.

Grey cell2 replies”Our host’s memory is limited ,so it cannot be compromised as he needs to use it for primary functions like remember where his boxers are!!” …)

Every time someone asks me this question my grey cells abandon me and I’m left all lonely n stumped to answer it. So then I look around and answer it with help of my surroundings. This reminds of a particular ad by Reliance mobile where a wife, particularly endowed with extra amounts of adipose , poses a question to her spouse “Am I looking fat?” and that guy seems to have lost his vocabulary. There are quite a few variants to this question.It might start off with "U r lookin pale , u seem to have lost weight" !!!Gosh!!

Im not being a male chauvinist here but I just cant understand the import of this question , maybe I’m on a lower plane of iq .I’m startled and amazed when people are able to figure out the change in their comrades’ contour. I agree to a point where a person has changed radically and seems unhealthy then we can advice that person but otherwise I don see the need.Y am I writing this??

Maybe I’m irritated when someone concentrates on my favorite female tennis player’s weight rather than her game. Or maybe I see certain “health spa clinics” thriving solely on this diabolique inquiry. And there are some people who inspite of knowing the answer ask this sinister question and experience a sadistic pleasure when they see the person squirm while answering it.

Ok ok ..let me just conclude here, I suggest people don’t approach me with this question coz eventually they will be misled. Lastly , I don’t know if Hillary will become the prez but she will definitely impress her fans by losing some pounds in the process.

Hastala vista ,Ladies n Gentle men for now.

Coming up next ,the eagerly awaited:-- MisSJudged

4 comments:

Darkness and deep said...

Bro.. one thing man,
U volé mes pensées...

"And there are some people who inspite of knowing the answer ask this sinister question and experience a sadistic pleasure when they see the person squirm while answering it..."

if u find any girl witch such superior sense of humor that surpases their basic need (like to know whether they are fat or not ) and u are already not fallen for her, please pass biodata ..:P


And please write more...

Golf Oscar Delta said...

Dude be happy u r in india man.....
American women take this stuff to a whole new level......

some questions that i get bombarded with (no i'm not bullshitting, this is friggin true and i'll tell you all the whole story next time ur online or something)

anyway coming back; some questions i get asked are (ranked from best to worst):
i. Am i looking fat today?
ii. Am i looking pale today?
iii. Are my shoes looking trashy?
and the worst of all
iv. Are my legs shaved enough today?

and the crappy part is, if she's ur gf u wouldn't even mind answering it(at least for first few weeks/months), now if she's just ur friend, its gonna be a piss off man....so trust me man.. ur lucky for beign asked just one easy question. So just put up with it shut up and dont complain... else i'll be glad to trade my place for urs....

@tho.... "any girl witch"... jeez what are u looking for....... a Hermione Granger... grow up.... :)

Vineet Rajan said...

there is just one way to answer that question and i never really understood why men cant lie their way out of it. the answer has be in various flavors of NO. its as simple as that. when will we learn!

Ramya said...

guys,

there is no right answer to the question and we know that. so i wouldn't call it a 'need' to know.and it's more to see how u guys react to it.

@oscar, americans say, ask and do a lot of weird things. Nothing particular about the women.